Post by StevePulaski on Dec 20, 2010 18:54:46 GMT -5
Where there's good, there's definitely bad. This thread should be titled "Steve's Revenge", because of the raving it holds towards defenseless movies. Each one of these movies took about an hour and a half of my life away, so since there's ten movies that's around fourteen hours of my life wasted because of my foolish thinking and curiosity. So here's where I rant away on the worst films of 2010.
The Worst of 2010
1. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Diary of a Wimpy Kid is the lamest, most uninspired book-to-movie adaptation I've ever seen. It's plagued by the worst acting I've seen this year and a ridiculous get up. The jokes are what kills it drastically. These jokes were probably the recycled ones from the Nickelodeon show iCarly. They are low grade, and anything but funny or clever. Being a fan of the book series by Jeff Kinney, I'm greatly upset such a humorous and relatable series of books got such a lackluster and upsetting film based on them. Definitely the hands down worst film of the year.
2. Fred: The Movie: Nickelodeon now leads the band with the worst kids shows currently on air. Between Victorious, iCarly, and Big Time Rush, all garbage teen shows were everything starts out wrong and immediately goes right, it's a wonder why this company is still in business. Airing this mess of a film couldn't have helped matters at all. Fred's childish and jittery attitude gets annoying extremely quick, and the film never has a moment where the jokes make the audience laugh. Fred proves to get your own show or movie talent doesn't meet the requirements.
3. Sex and the City 2: SATC 2 ranks for the year's worst sequel easily. The original TV series was a witty and amusing series about the lives and relationships of four close girls. Very interesting concept, and executed with love. The first movie in 2008, I found to be very funny, although very lengthy, running two and a half hours. For a chick flick, that's long! This one suffers from the same problem. The film is one minute longer than the original and feels like you are watching Citizen Kane back to back. Not because it's brilliant, because it's extended beyond belief. Nothing but bigoted gay jokes, and a nauseating trip to the Abu Dhabii desert. The original was long, but it went by fast because lots of amusing things were happening. After 100 minutes I was antsy and ready to leave, but I said "I'd better tough it out." I'm regretting that move.
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street: A nightmare this film was indeed! Freddy returns to the big screen after a seven year absence, but not in another one of his own films, no, a remake! Were you expect, um, maybe um, a worthy sequel? This is the first time where Freddy isn't portrayed by horror-hound Robert Englund, instead he's brought to life by Jackie Earle Haley who is extremely inferior to Englund's persona, and does zero to even bring the character to life. Freddy's comments are stock, the jump scenes come one to many times, and the thirty year old looking mother or her teenage daughter who's twenty four was just laughable. A huge disappointment for horror fans this was.
5. A Very School Gyrls Holla-Day: Next to Deck the Halls, this is one of the worst Christmas "movies" I've ever seen. The random placement of music videos, the dreary plot, and the overly childish girls who are supposed to be setting an example are just not the kind of thing I want to watch over this cheerful season.
6. Yogi Bear: CGI gets it's fix in this adaptation of the beloved sixties cartoon of the same name. From the special effects artists who made Scooby Doo come to life in CGI certainly had the same plan going for Yogi Bear. It's a laugh-free, sleep inducing movie that does zero to make you remember your favorite cartoon or childhood for that matter. Alvin and the Chipmunks, Garfield, and Scooby Doo have all suffered the same lackluster treatment of CGI animals, and one dimensional human characters making the animal(s) look even smarter. They just couldn't let Yogi go untouched. But hey, I'd take one dimensional human characters over three dimensional any day.
7. Grown Ups: Being a film with an ensemble comedy cast should immediately spark any Comedy fan's attention. Their attention will soon disintegrate after they watch about twenty-five minutes of this unfunny mess. The whole cast doesn't do that bad. Maria Bello and Salma Hayek are the funniest of anyone in this entire movie, and as for the guys, only David Spade and Christ Rock really did it for me. Grown Ups was loved by a lot of my friends, and I can see why. Throw five well known Comedy guys in a movie where they take their kids to a place they used to go, and make them act like the "big kids". Very clever...
8. Despicable Me: A month after I saw Toy Story 3, I went to see this despicable mess. When I got out, I was frustrated with how unfunny and overly silly it was. But I was surprised as hell to find all the positive reviews on the web about it. It might be my fault for going into it expecting a film with characters and morals like Toy Story 3, but it really wasn't as good as the critics said. It was a mediocre, unfunny, misleading movie with secondary characters being the best part of the film. The sad part was the secondary characters weren't the main. Poor Dreamworks movie right here.
9. MacGruber: Watching this movie spawned a blog post on SNL Films, and if they are even worth the time and money. It even led me to make the Season 3 premiere of Front Row Steve focus on the topic. I think I went a wee bit too far putting so much time into a concept not worth thought, but I felt I did it justice. MacGruber has, who I though was Owen Wilson, Will Forte who was definitely a good addition to the film. When I wrote the review, I had to go back and edit the hell out of it removing the words Owen Wilson from almost every paragraph. Still it's an unfunny, waste of two hours that will be forgotten and nothing more. Typical SNL Film standards.
10. Saw 3D: This one, I shouldn't even waste time on. Saw is one of the longest, and most tiresome franchises in history. By the eight one, what do you expect? A boring rehash of the previous seven. When I first saw Saw (pun intended), I thought it could stand along as it's own film. When I saw the second film I was like "Okay, watch there be a third." There was, I didn't see it. After that, I said f**k it, and ignored the franchise. Going in the order of one, two, eight wasn't that smart of me. But seeing them all in order most likely didn't make the film any better.
Decent Films of 2010
1. Alice in Wonderland: Burton's colorful adaptation of the 1951 classic may offer all colors of the rainbow, but doesn't have much rewatch value for a guy like me.
2. Burlesque: Cher and Xtina give dynamite performances, that while entertaining, aren't very memorable in any way.
3. Lottery Ticket: A film in the path of the veteran urban film Friday detours quickly into a path of cliches and cheap laughs.
4. Paranormal Activity 2: The sequel to the unexpected 2009 box office smash, that doesn't go off like the second Blair Witch, but doesn't refresh like it should.
5. Dinner for Schmucks: Rudd and Carell may make a likable duo, but one big laugh followed by small grins and blank faces do not qualify as the building blocks to a good comedy.
Well, there you have it. My best, worst, and decent film picks for 2010. After reading through the 2011 filmography, I can't help but predict what may come in another long year...
The Worst of 2010
1. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Diary of a Wimpy Kid is the lamest, most uninspired book-to-movie adaptation I've ever seen. It's plagued by the worst acting I've seen this year and a ridiculous get up. The jokes are what kills it drastically. These jokes were probably the recycled ones from the Nickelodeon show iCarly. They are low grade, and anything but funny or clever. Being a fan of the book series by Jeff Kinney, I'm greatly upset such a humorous and relatable series of books got such a lackluster and upsetting film based on them. Definitely the hands down worst film of the year.
2. Fred: The Movie: Nickelodeon now leads the band with the worst kids shows currently on air. Between Victorious, iCarly, and Big Time Rush, all garbage teen shows were everything starts out wrong and immediately goes right, it's a wonder why this company is still in business. Airing this mess of a film couldn't have helped matters at all. Fred's childish and jittery attitude gets annoying extremely quick, and the film never has a moment where the jokes make the audience laugh. Fred proves to get your own show or movie talent doesn't meet the requirements.
3. Sex and the City 2: SATC 2 ranks for the year's worst sequel easily. The original TV series was a witty and amusing series about the lives and relationships of four close girls. Very interesting concept, and executed with love. The first movie in 2008, I found to be very funny, although very lengthy, running two and a half hours. For a chick flick, that's long! This one suffers from the same problem. The film is one minute longer than the original and feels like you are watching Citizen Kane back to back. Not because it's brilliant, because it's extended beyond belief. Nothing but bigoted gay jokes, and a nauseating trip to the Abu Dhabii desert. The original was long, but it went by fast because lots of amusing things were happening. After 100 minutes I was antsy and ready to leave, but I said "I'd better tough it out." I'm regretting that move.
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street: A nightmare this film was indeed! Freddy returns to the big screen after a seven year absence, but not in another one of his own films, no, a remake! Were you expect, um, maybe um, a worthy sequel? This is the first time where Freddy isn't portrayed by horror-hound Robert Englund, instead he's brought to life by Jackie Earle Haley who is extremely inferior to Englund's persona, and does zero to even bring the character to life. Freddy's comments are stock, the jump scenes come one to many times, and the thirty year old looking mother or her teenage daughter who's twenty four was just laughable. A huge disappointment for horror fans this was.
5. A Very School Gyrls Holla-Day: Next to Deck the Halls, this is one of the worst Christmas "movies" I've ever seen. The random placement of music videos, the dreary plot, and the overly childish girls who are supposed to be setting an example are just not the kind of thing I want to watch over this cheerful season.
6. Yogi Bear: CGI gets it's fix in this adaptation of the beloved sixties cartoon of the same name. From the special effects artists who made Scooby Doo come to life in CGI certainly had the same plan going for Yogi Bear. It's a laugh-free, sleep inducing movie that does zero to make you remember your favorite cartoon or childhood for that matter. Alvin and the Chipmunks, Garfield, and Scooby Doo have all suffered the same lackluster treatment of CGI animals, and one dimensional human characters making the animal(s) look even smarter. They just couldn't let Yogi go untouched. But hey, I'd take one dimensional human characters over three dimensional any day.
7. Grown Ups: Being a film with an ensemble comedy cast should immediately spark any Comedy fan's attention. Their attention will soon disintegrate after they watch about twenty-five minutes of this unfunny mess. The whole cast doesn't do that bad. Maria Bello and Salma Hayek are the funniest of anyone in this entire movie, and as for the guys, only David Spade and Christ Rock really did it for me. Grown Ups was loved by a lot of my friends, and I can see why. Throw five well known Comedy guys in a movie where they take their kids to a place they used to go, and make them act like the "big kids". Very clever...
8. Despicable Me: A month after I saw Toy Story 3, I went to see this despicable mess. When I got out, I was frustrated with how unfunny and overly silly it was. But I was surprised as hell to find all the positive reviews on the web about it. It might be my fault for going into it expecting a film with characters and morals like Toy Story 3, but it really wasn't as good as the critics said. It was a mediocre, unfunny, misleading movie with secondary characters being the best part of the film. The sad part was the secondary characters weren't the main. Poor Dreamworks movie right here.
9. MacGruber: Watching this movie spawned a blog post on SNL Films, and if they are even worth the time and money. It even led me to make the Season 3 premiere of Front Row Steve focus on the topic. I think I went a wee bit too far putting so much time into a concept not worth thought, but I felt I did it justice. MacGruber has, who I though was Owen Wilson, Will Forte who was definitely a good addition to the film. When I wrote the review, I had to go back and edit the hell out of it removing the words Owen Wilson from almost every paragraph. Still it's an unfunny, waste of two hours that will be forgotten and nothing more. Typical SNL Film standards.
10. Saw 3D: This one, I shouldn't even waste time on. Saw is one of the longest, and most tiresome franchises in history. By the eight one, what do you expect? A boring rehash of the previous seven. When I first saw Saw (pun intended), I thought it could stand along as it's own film. When I saw the second film I was like "Okay, watch there be a third." There was, I didn't see it. After that, I said f**k it, and ignored the franchise. Going in the order of one, two, eight wasn't that smart of me. But seeing them all in order most likely didn't make the film any better.
Decent Films of 2010
1. Alice in Wonderland: Burton's colorful adaptation of the 1951 classic may offer all colors of the rainbow, but doesn't have much rewatch value for a guy like me.
2. Burlesque: Cher and Xtina give dynamite performances, that while entertaining, aren't very memorable in any way.
3. Lottery Ticket: A film in the path of the veteran urban film Friday detours quickly into a path of cliches and cheap laughs.
4. Paranormal Activity 2: The sequel to the unexpected 2009 box office smash, that doesn't go off like the second Blair Witch, but doesn't refresh like it should.
5. Dinner for Schmucks: Rudd and Carell may make a likable duo, but one big laugh followed by small grins and blank faces do not qualify as the building blocks to a good comedy.
Well, there you have it. My best, worst, and decent film picks for 2010. After reading through the 2011 filmography, I can't help but predict what may come in another long year...