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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 21, 2012 7:44:16 GMT -5
I recently saw an interview, today (March 21, 2012) actually, on WGN with Dean Richards interviewing American Pie stars Jason Biggs and Sean William Scott. Richards asked the men if they ever just wanted to move on and look past the characters of the Pie franchise. When the spinoffs of the films came, I thought it would be all over - we'd never see another Pie film again with the original cast. So, originally I thought that Biggs, Scott, and the rest of the cast were just obligated from 1999 - 2003 to do a trilogy because of how big of a hit the original film became. Clearly, that wasn't the case. Both actors expressed nothing but gratitude and satisfaction towards their Jim and Stifler characters, respectively, and Scott even stated "Now I know what Marlon Brando had to go through."
Now it's 2012 and American Reunion is slated for a release in two weeks. Before I can officially say "I'm ready," I thought I'd rewind and slow down by rewatching the original Pie trilogy. I've seen them before, all of which in the summer of 2009 before Is tarted reviewing literally every film I watched, and found it odd that I have constructed reviews of every spinoff (all of which I will rewrite and reformat within the next few days) but not the original trilogy that invented the name. The spinoffs are dreck, to say the least. Horrible, immature creations that simply ride off the name's popularity when they have next to nothing to do with the name itself. Without further distractions, here are my reviews of all American Pie films leading up to my review of American Reunion on April 7, 2012.
American Pie (1999). Rating: ★★★
American Pie is smarter than many, many other teen films that I've seen over the last few years. Its depiction of the fun, spontaneous antics that exist in high school don't take the nihilistic or dehumanizing route many films of the same genre do. Some have written the film off as "unoriginal," and while it really isn't, it's a comedy for a new generation. The seventies had National Lampoon's Animal House, the eighties had Porky's, and the nineties got a nice helping of pie.
The film follows four naive Michigan high school students, who are close to each other, but not to the people they truly want to be close to; girls. Jim (Biggs) is a pasty, awkward teenager hoping to get lucky with the foreign exchange student Nadia (Elizabeth), Chris "Oz" Ostreicher (Klien) is the all-star lacrosse player trying to make things work with the sweet, innocent, and charming choir girl Heather (Suvari), Kevin (Nicholas) is the self-confident and sexually motivated one of the group, hoping to have sex with his girlfriend Vicky (Reid) before they go off to separate colleges, and Finch (Thomas) is the shy, solemn soul who usually sits idly by while the antics unfold. The four make a pact to lose their virginity by the end of high school, hoping to make it all happen the night of Senior Prom. The gang's motivation comes from their loudmouth buddy Steve Stifler (Scott), who is unapologetically crude, yet irresistibly lovable.
Perhaps the funniest character in the entire film is Jim's dad (Levy), who must be the most conscious and understanding father in the history of film. Many teen films portray parents as out of touch codgers with no knowledge or comprehension of current events. Jim's dad is the total opposite. He is way too understanding, even when his son tries to practice his moves on a baked apple pie.
One character that seems tragically underused is Vicky's friend Jessica (Lyonne). The character is seen at rare points in the film, usually providing her friend with sex insight. She seems like the black sheep of the group, who doesn't fit in anywhere and doesn't really want to. When she does turn up on screen, usually for a slender amount of time, she is witty and fun, much like the rest of the characters.
I was never hugely fond of the eighties' generation-definer Porky's. I found it to be a little weak on the characterization, yet still on par with its projection of high school students. The reason why American Pie soars high on the grading scale is because it manages to provide us with lovable characters that would become familiar to us like those in a sitcom. These characters are sunny and infectious with their one-liners and their wisdom. They aren't indulgent, meaning they are always learning new things and reciting a good moral or two. After not seeing the film in many years, the end scenes were a big surprise to me. It shows the characters are gaining insight and knowledge; I thought that simply couldn't happen in a teen movie. The end also goes in a way one did not expect. I was crossing my fingers that it wouldn't turn into the cartoony cliche I was thinking, and what do you know, it turned out to be just as sweet as the film itself.
What a joyous and lovable excursion American Pie is. It provides well delivered, intelligent laughs and realizes that it doesn't need to discover a new "breast per screen" ratio in order to be funny or memorable. It introduces us to naive, confused teenagers, perhaps somehow reflecting ourselves at the time, and goes from there in what appears to be a totally fresh take on the subject of losing ones virginity. It is simple, efficient, and wholesome even when it shows its darker side.
Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Natasha Lyonne, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Shannon Elizabeth, Eugene Levy, and Eddie Kaye Thomas. Diretced by: Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz.
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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 21, 2012 20:43:01 GMT -5
American Pie 2 (2001). Rating: ★★★
When a film is an unexpected hit, it is not uncommon to see a sequel trying to rehash the formula. Unfortunately, while sounding like a clever idea, utilizing the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" motto, only a handful of films can get away with. With comedy films, it's especially rare and difficult, since many thing that existed in the first film are now close to obsolete. Most recently, we can say what an utter disappointment The Hangover Part II was, and for animation, I can see a look of sorrow and woe on all our faces when we paid to see The Jungle Book 2. Also, how many parents felt just a tiny bit cheated when they ventured out with their kid to Home Alone 2: Lost in New York?
I bring this up because, being an avid moviegoer and watcher, I experience it a lot, and probably tend to notice it more than other people. I expected American Pie 2 to be nothing but a mediocre rehash of a formula I believed would only form a successful film once. The element of surprise is gone, the characters have grown up a bit, and there just doesn't seem to be a conceivable way to freshen the idea without taking an obviously lucrative turn. Thankfully, screenwriter Adam Herz, who also wrote the first Pie film, has made me eat those words along with his second helping of pie. American Pie 2 is one of the few comedy sequels I've seen that efficiently redoes what the original paved out, yet still includes that new movie smell.
The plot revolves around the same bunch of characters we loved in the first film, only this time they're not naive high school Seniors days away from graduating, but less naive College kids on summer break. Jim (Biggs), Kevin (Nicholas), Oz (Klein), and Finch (Thomas) all return and plan to throw an unforgettable bash at a Grand Harbor lakehouse in Michigan. Not a whole ton has changed with the guys, Jim hasn't gotten over foreign exchange hottie Nadia (Elizabeth), Kevin is still desperately seeking Vicky (Reid), after cutting their relationship short to attend separate colleges, Oz is still dating the adorable choir girl Heather (Suvari), and Finch still has not gotten over his fling with Stifler's mom (Coolidge).
When Jim learns that Nadia will be returning from Chicago to see him during the summer, he seeks the advice of quirky but lovable Michelle (Hannigan), whom he took to Senior Prom. The chemistry between the two is electric, and you almost crave to hear Hannigan recite the famous six words I doubt you need repeated. Also, some of the funniest work comes from Eugene Levy, reprising his role as Jim's father who continues to be supportive and understanding of his son's bizarre sex accidents. It seems Levy exists as the satirical character in a world where the kids are in a comedy movie. The unexpected mix works perfectly with the overall feel. The only character I feel is still painfully underused is Natasha Lyonne's Jessica, who seems like she could deliver more if the screenplay let her. Maybe she is supposed to be mysterious and subtle in her presence.
There is a bit more of a focus on gross-out gags here than in the first film. One scene involving potential lesbian neighbors is stretched out a bit too long, and loses some of its humor over time. There is also a scene involving urine which isn't very funny, but we're thrilled to see these characters back again, cherishing and embracing each of their sitcom personas.
Like in the original film, there is a nice blend of sweetness and wit to compliment a lot of the gross antics, making for a nice hybrid. We've only spent two movies with these characters, but somehow feel we've personally connected with them in a way that makes us crave more events involving them. It's so rare we get characters like this, and everyone here seems to be determined to make a great, fun movie. So many people just look at the original Pie trilogy and see it as nothing but a reviled sex romp and nothing more. Many don't pay attention to the intelligence and spirit that makes these films so delightfully enigmatic and cheery. That's what the Pie is all about.
I just have one tiny question for the gang this time around. We are informed of the "rule of three" where if you ask a girl how many guys she has slept with, you take that number and multiply it by three. Okay. Fair enough. We then learn from the girls that when you ask a guy how many girls he has slept with, you take the number and divide it by three. So what if a guy says he has slept with five girls. He has slept with 1.7 girls?
Starring: Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Natasha Lyonne, Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Eugene Levy. Directed by: J.B. Rogers.
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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 24, 2012 8:46:10 GMT -5
American Wedding (2003). Rating: ★★★
American Wedding acts as the wrap around story for the beloved American Pie characters we know and love. In the first film, we were acquainted with their goofy, oddball ways and followed a group of four high school Seniors as they made a pact to lose their virginity by the end of the year. In the second film, we saw them not as naive high schoolers, but naive college kids, who rented a lakehouse to endure more of their activities. Screenwriter Adam Herz, who wrote the first two films, returns to freshen the formula and continue his trend of infecting goofy characters with traits of intelligence and soul.
Let's get one thing straight here; the first two films are pretty much the same. Basically a group of guys trying to score and trying to assure a safe relationship with their girlfriends. There are minor differences, but the film got lucky by having memorable dialog and one-liners said every so often so the film didn't feel like a monotonous excursion. The inflation of gross-out gags in the second films received mixed reception, though. I found some of them funny, but after a while, familiarity came into play. Especially with the "you touch, we touch" scene which is referenced here, as well.
The story centers around Jim (Biggs) and Michelle (Hannigan), who are finally tying the knot. When Stifler (Scott) gets word of this, he makes the bachelor party his main responsibility, while the rest of the gang including Kevin (Nicolas) and Finch (Thomas) are noticeably growing weary of his deviant plans. Inevitably, Stifler winds up screwing up majorly, and is looking for ways to redeem himself near the end of the film.
This is the first American Pie film where the whole cast doesn't come back. Kevin Kline's Oz, Mena Survari's Heather, Shannon Elizabeth's Nadia, and the extremely underrated and often overlooked Natasha Lyonne's Jessica are all extracted from the script, with no explanation. It isn't a crisis that Nadia isn't here, but not having Oz, one of Jim's closest friends, is sad and not having him even mentioned is a bit depressing. Much of the focus here is on Stifler, who we can see begins to vaguely mature as the film goes on. He seems a bit sweeter at times, yet he also seems a bit more crude and indulgent at points as well.
One character that hasn't lost even an ounce of his humor is Jim's father, played by Eugene Levy. I am beginning to sound repetitive, but his character is yet another one that doesn't seem to get well-deserved recognition. Mainly because other characters, like Jim and Stifler, seem to take center stage a lot of the time.
Still, aside from the disappointing element of characters not returning, American Wedding hits home with the level of love, sentimentality, wit, bravery, humor, and satisfaction. It is a lively, cheery sequel in films that still have yet to become oppressive and winded, despite being erected from a similar formula every time. They are quite possibly the most pleasing and well-done comedies of the early 2000's decade.
Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Fred Willard, Eugene Levy, Jennifer Coolidge, January Jones, John Cho, and Fred Willard. Directed by: Jesse Dylan.
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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 24, 2012 8:53:47 GMT -5
American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005). Rating: ★★½
The start of what was soon to come, many non-related spin-offs to the cult classic American Pie begins with Band Camp. I think this would have been much better if the original cast reprised their roles. Having new actors feels a tiny bit out of place, but still, one can sort of feel the vague vibes of urgency and nostalgia from the original Pie trilogy.
This one revolves around Matt Stifler (Hilgenbrinck), who I will admit, has quite a resemblance to Sean William Scott (the previous Steve Stifler). When Matt ruins the band's performance by pepper spraying their instruments, one of the few returning castmates Chris Owen (The Sherminator), now the Guidance Counselor, sends Matt to "Band Camp." Matt then hears from a friend that there happens to be a lot of "sex" at Band Camp. He buys over $1,000 in spy technology to put in peoples' rooms, showers, and wherever girls lurk so he can turn his voyeuristic videos into a movie entitled "Bandeez Gone Wild".
Why is he doing this? So he can join the family business of making exploitation films and prove to his older brother that he is "The Stif-meister." Along the way he meets a girl he hasn't spoken to in about four years, Elyse Houston (Kebbel). He hides the fact he likes her to avoid being made fun of and continuously tries to impress her in the weirdest of ways.
He is a different person around friends. Around friends he is calm, cool, and collective. But around girls he is "The Stif-meister," according to Elyse.
Eugene Levy has a few scenes in Band Camp that assist in bringing back the vibes of the original trilogy. Normally, I'd view it as a desperate plea of a sequel to only have one original cast member return and have a few others occupy the names of original characters, but it seems as if we are taking a step in a completely different direction. A direction that features shameless nudity, gross-out humor, and ridiculous setups in order to capitalize and make money off of the original Pie films. Technically, with a few name changes, these spinoffs could easily extract the "American Pie Presents" from the title and just call themselves by their secondary name. Band Camp is close to the spirit of the original films, but lacks the heart and wit that the original series bathed in. It wasn't all about sex, but about characterization and morals. The trilogy wasn't mean-spirited, as much as it was cheery, welcoming, and sometimes, even heartwarming. The characters here are more like caricatures inhabiting the bodies of inferior people we are supposed to believe are related to one person from movies past. I guess the spirits were a bit indecisive.
Starring: Tad Hilgenbrinck, Arielle Kebbel, Eugene Levy, Chris Owen, Tara Killian, Terrick Johnson, and Jason Earles. Directed by: Steve Rash.
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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 24, 2012 8:54:50 GMT -5
American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006). Rating: ★½
I don't get it. The American Pie spinoffs are made for next to nothing, they get abysmal reception from fans of the original trilogy, but the legacy continues with more helpings of spoiled, unwanted pie. The sad thing is that actor Eugene Levy returns to these messes, when all he is doing is locking himself out of more respected work. It's a lose-lose for fans and Levy himself.
Here we have American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile, the latest shallow sequel to the franchise. The plot is unappealing, much like the title of the film, featuring Erik Stifler (White), a cousin of Steve from the original films, is about to enter College a virgin. Being a "Stifler", that's a big deal. His girlfriend, Tracy (Schram), is nervous about having sex, as all the women are in this franchise. Frustrated with failure, following a recent incident, Erik is given a "guilt-free pass" from Tracy meaning he can go with his buddies to his cousin's college to partake in "The Naked Mile Run," join his cousin Dwight Stifler (Talley) and do anything sexual with any girl he wants.
The Naked Mile fails at a lot of things, mainly characterization and humor. What it truly fails at explaining why the original Pie films were so good. They featured likable, respectable characters who actually learned something from their actions at the end of their films. They were the equivalent of a sitcom bunch, whose faces you never got tired of seeing. American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile thinks the whole thing is one big joke.
All hope, wit, and any attempt at real fun was lost the second the title came into play. Using the word "naked" is a shameless attempt to market skin, and that's exactly what you get in The Naked Mile. Quite possibly more of it than any of the previous installments. It's gratuitous, ugly, and a very demeaning marketing approach by the writer and director.
Idiocy reigns high in The Naked Mile, and that's no surprise. It's a poorly crafted work of direct-to-DVD shlock that seems to recycle characters from "The Movie Store" bargain bin, and stamps recognizable names on them to give us the false representation that we are watching a true American Pie film. The setups are labored, the jokes drab to the point of desperation, the skin redundant and utterly trying, and the characters unlikable and nihilistic. It surely amuses its target audiences who, technically, can't even see the film.
Starring: Steve Talley, John White, Jessy Schram, Eugene Levy, Ross Thomas, and Angel Lewis. Directed by: Joe Nussbaum.
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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 24, 2012 8:55:47 GMT -5
American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007). Rating: ★
Originally titled String Academy, this is the sixth installment in the never ending American Pie Presents series, that rides off the trilogy's well-deserved popularity. This is undoubtedly the worst too. This movie has more nudity and sex talk then all three original films combined. A joyless excursion, only to be taken by prepubescent teenagers hoping to see some skin when their parents go to sleep. Hopefully, they dream up activities that will make them more involved in their kids' lives.
This one is connected with previous installment The Naked Mile, which doesn't seems so bad after watching this. Most characters from The Naked Mile return in this one, some don't, but they give a clear explanation of why some don't so it doesn't come of as a surprise that they aren't here. The returning castmates are Erik, "Cooze," Dwight, and, sadly, Eugene Levy.
The film begins has we see Erik (White) is depressed because his best friend "Cooze" (Siegel) isn't in the same dorm as him for his first year in college, and he was recently dumped by his girlfriend, Tracy, for another man. Erik is a shadow of his confidence now, and hopes to just take it light. A new band of troubles occur after meeting his roommate, and finding his cousin Dwight (Talley) is head of the Beta House.
Dwight does everything in his power to get Erik and his friends elected into the house by doing endearing and embarrassing tasks over and over again. The problem here is the jokes and nudity is about as bad as in The 18 Year Old Virgin. It's disgusting and virtually vile. The moral delivered here is that women are objects, no better than the size of their assets or breasts. Thou may treat them as such. Very nihilistic approach, movie.
I would go on, but I feel like I'm plodding into a never-ending sea of redundancy, much like the spinoffs themselves. Many people say that these are what the original films were about, which is totally false. They were about losing ones virginity, yes, but they weren't as demeaning, vacant, or as unapologetically banal as Beta House. This is a spoiled slice of pie that has no redeeming qualities except that it can be easily disposed of. Rinse and repeat.
Starring: Steve Talley, John White, and Eugene Levy. Directed by: Andrew Waller.
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Post by StevePulaski on Mar 24, 2012 8:57:16 GMT -5
American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (2009). The cast of American Pie Presents: The Book of Love Rating: ★½ Yet another ridiculous American Pie spinoff, unrelated to the first, that has now been spit into stores for kids to buy and call "the best movie ever". Just great. I always referred to these movies as "kid movies" because I find my friends liking the spinoffs more than the original three because of the excessive female nudity. Maybe we're heading down the sea of nihilism, I don't know. We are enlightened to see that Bug Hall ( The Little Rascals) plays the lead character in this mess, and I would just give the film one and a half stars for him and Eugene Levy, solely. He plays Rob a hopeless virgin along with his other friends Nathan (Kevin M. Horton) and Lube (Brandon Hardesty). While searching for the girl he likes, Rob accidentally sets the school library on fire in which he find the "Book of Love". Partly destroyed, it contains the tips and tricks on how to have sex and pleasure a women. The virgins are now on their quest to have sex and try gain girlfriends as well. The plot, is rather stupid and just unappealing altogether. It's a typical late high-school plot in which you don't really care about. Yet again, no one returns from previous films, only Eugene Levy who must get paid a shiny new dime to keep returning in these films. He needs to get decent cut for what the franchise makes, otherwise, he would never in his life make such lackluster films. I will go as far as saying I laughed in a few parts but like Richard Roeper stated, "One laugh every half an hour is not enough for me to recommend this...". The characters are mildly likable, but you don't really care what happens to them even though they are the protagonists of the film. The lackluster acting, the stereotypical objects disguised as girls, and the bad script and storyline is enough to bore you before the first thirty minutes have passed. Like I stated before, teens will like this for the nudity, but any self respecting fan will grow tired, weary, and be utterly repulsed by this loathsome filth disguised as pie. Next. Starring: Bug Hall, Kevin M. Horton, Brandon Hardesty, and Eugene Levy. Directed by: John Putch.
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Post by StevePulaski on Apr 7, 2012 14:38:12 GMT -5
American Reunion (2012). Rating: ★★★
It's hard to believe it has been thirteen years since lovable characters like Jim, Oz, Kevin, and Finch were desperately trying to lose their virginity before Senior year ended. We followed these guys around for pre-graduation fun in American Pie, vacationed at a beach house in American Pie 2, and when our lead character Jim got married in American Wedding. We then endured four relentlessly incompetent and immature spinoffs that were not only banking on the name, but sticking in names like "Matt Stifler" in a desperate attempt to link them with the original trilogy. I began to believe never again would I give another American Pie film a positive rating. Then along came a reunion.
Some would say that a reunion with characters we met only a mere thirteen years ago isn't necessary. I believe it was immensely necessary. We were stuffed with dry, tasteless spinoffs of the franchise from 2005 through 2011, and I believe, many teens discovered those films oblivious to the original trilogy. It was a treat to see these characters come back for one last time, providing much deserved laughs after an endless sea of monotony and nihilism.
If that's what you want, American Reunion delivers. The story is simplicity itself, much like the three previous films. After a high school reunion is planned, the East Great Falls class of '99 returns to their hometown to see what has changed, what hasn't, and to meet up with the friends they have somewhat lost contact with. Jim (Biggs) is still married to the beautiful Michelle (Hannigan), now with a two year old child, but their sex life has gone south. If you've seen the first three movies, you automatically know how this one will open.
Oz (Klein), who was wholly absent from American Wedding, has become a sportscaster with a very beautiful girlfriend. Yet it is inevitable he will collide with Heather (Suvari), the "choir chick" whom taught him to be more sensitive. Kevin (Nicholas) returns, married and victim to consistent reality shows, and Finch (Thomas) has proven himself to be successful, traveling across the world, yet stuck in a rut when it comes to relationships. But let's not forget Stifler (Scott), and no, he hasn't settled down.
Again, one of the funniest characters in the film is Jim's forgiving father, played by Eugene Levy. After his mother's tragic passing, he can see that his father's life is now noticeably vacant. Jim has the idea that in order to meet more women, his father must create a dating profile. The idea could've sparked an untold amount of awkwardness and anxiety, but it seems the idea was abandoned on arrival. Still, we get plenty of healthy laughs when the iconic mom of Stifler (Coolidge) comes into play.
In one of the countless subplots in the film, Jim reconnects with a girl he used to babysit, named Kara, played by the beautiful and talented Ali Cobrin. Now that she's turning eighteen, she's looking for the perfect guy to lose her virginity to, and Jim came along at the right time. Ali Cobrin played in a Television series called Look, a devilishly entertaining show that centered around a number of people, whose lives with intertwined with each other. The trick was the show was all shot with surveillance footage. It's nice to see Cobrin's full acting talents come forth in a mainstream film. It's also nice to see variety and even this late in the characters' lives, they are still meeting new people. They aren't confined to the same old friends.
Directors/screenwriters Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, the writers for the three Harold and Kumar films, definitely have knowledge and respect for the original Pie trilogy. This is the first real film of the series not to be written by Adam Herz, whom created this lovable band of characters. The writing still mixes shameless raunchiness with heart and depth to its humor, but its main reliance is on nostalgia.
It seems every few minutes, a character is referencing past events from the first three films. This makes me skeptical if a person going into this without the knowledge of the previous three will understand where a lot of the humor derives from. I'm glad I revisited the original trilogy a week or so before seeing this, so I was fully prepared.
American Reunion is a wonderful revival to a series that needed one. Its script, though written by different people, captures the energy and fun nicely, the actors all remember how to portray their characters and hit the right notes, the characters themselves still resemble those of a sitcom, who we still look forward to seeing every now and then, and every one of them, including some surprise cameos, gets their own time to shine. It is a bit sad to see one character literally just get a minute of screen time, cough, cough the underrated Natasha Lyonne, but after a seemingly empty Wedding, it is nice to see the original gang at least make some sort of an appearance. After three healthy slices and four rotten ones, we come across a slice that is reassuring and refreshing. Something I never thought I'd say.
NOTE: If I were you, I'd sit through the credits. Not only is there an additional scene moments after the film ends, but the film's credits carry on with scenes from the original trilogy and the fourth one we just watched. It's like watching old memories with friends that you haven't seen for so long. Wholesomeness is the word.
Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Ali Cobrin, Mena Suvari, Natasha Lyonne, Eugene Levy, and Jennifer Coolidge. Directed by: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg.
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Post by StevePulaski on Oct 11, 2020 11:03:46 GMT -5
American Pie Presents: Girls' Rules (2020) Directed by: Mike Elliott Lizze Broadway, Madison Pettis, Piper Curda, and Natasha Behnam. Rating: ★★ Let's be real: two stars for an American Pie spinoff 11 years after the last one quietly feels like four. I was primed to be embarrassed to have watched American Pie Presents: Girls' Rules because, frankly, how could I not be? The late aughts saw the American Pie brand desecrated by loosely connected follow-ups that, save for a Eugene Levy cameo or a character with the last name "Stifler," had nothing to do with the series at hand. Surprisingly, Girls' Rules — released through Universal's ignominious 1440 Entertainment label, often reserved for direct-to-video sequels — rebounds from an obnoxious opening sequence and becomes something marginally sweet.
From the jump, through its title and the opening minutes, Girls' Rules establishes a different perspective for this offering. It's told entirely from the points-of-view of four gal-pals who put forth an effort to secure a date and a fling for the upcoming "Morp" dance ("prom" backwards since the girls ask the guys on dates). This is a welcomed break from the likes of Beta House and The Naked Mile, which were heavy on testosterone and light on laughs.
The aforementioned opening involves Annie (Madison Pettis) trying and failing to love her virginity to her boyfriend by sneaking into his house before he leaves for Michigan State. Dismayed, she regroups with her friends — the conceded Stephanie Stifler (Lizze Broadway), whose relation to Steve is never clarified, the aggressive Kayla (Piper Curda), and the bubbly Michelle (Natasha Behnam) — who decide to form a pact that they will find a guy to take to the dance and get the sex they all desire. The pressure is mostly on Annie, not only for being inexperienced but because her man is surrounded by tail at a big university. Moreover, Kayla is on-off with her boyfriend Tim (Camaron Engels) while Michelle has grown so accustomed to collecting a litany of sex toys that she already knows how and what makes her tick in the bedroom.
It doesn't take long for all the girls to swoon over Grant (Darren Barnet), the hunky new kid whose mother, Ellen (Sara Rue), is the high school's new principal. Always quick to the trigger, Stephanie devises a plan to reconnect with Emmett (Zachary Gordon of Diary of a Wimpy Kid fame), Grant's closest friend, to learn his likes and dislikes. With the dance weeks away, the four practically trip over themselves to impress the new apple of their eye.
American Pie Presents: Girls' Rules has plenty of the awkward energy that helped tank its predecessors. For one, it seems no one at East Great Falls High School ever spends much time in class, but rather more time making scenes in front of the whole school. A handful of moments show the girls embarrassing themselves before a large crowd, who subsequently just watches frozen and in disbelief at the madness. Cringe-inducing subplots involve Annie's father getting romantically invested in Ellen, but thankfully, Rue has such a charming and confident on-screen personality that lengthy moments of them seductively eating her homemade cherry pies are, in turn, ever-so-slightly more bearable.
The four leads to a solid job of turning their paper-thin characters into effervescent personalities as well, particularly Pettis, who gets a lot of mileage out of being sincere, and Curda, who gets a lot of mileage out of being humorously abrasive. Girls' Rules is yet another comedy that tasks its cast with carrying a mediocre screenplay. The good news is that this cast is the most likable and capable, top to bottom, of any American Pie spinoff thus far, right down to Barnet, who gets some humanizing qualities and isn't exclusively a piece of fresh meat.
All that said, the connective tissue to the larger franchise is predictably weak. Furthermore, for a film that's posited as a ribald sex comedy, there's something odd about all the characters having most of their clothes on during sex; even some of the positions they try (one involving Emmett sticks out like a sore thumb) don't make any logistical sense whatsoever. Ultimately, this is what these American Pie spinoffs are: slapdash comedies with broadly drawn caricatures that remove the finer details such as character and sentimentality in turn producing features you can comfortably have on in the background of a frat-house. You can do worse than Girls' Rules in that department, and over the years, we've seen that be true, so the fact that this is a tolerable entry into a franchise that should've been put out of its misery many moons ago is a pyrrhic victory but a minor victory nonetheless.
NOTE: American Pie Presents: Girls' Rules is now streaming on Netflix.
Starring: Madison Pettis, Lizze Broadway, Piper Curda, Natasha Behman, Darren Barnet, Sara Rue, Zachary Gordon, Camaron Engels, Danny Trejo, and Barry Bostwick. Directed by: Mike Elliott.
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