Stealing Harvard

[StevePulaski]

Leslie Mann, Tom Green, and Jason Lee.

Rating: ★½

If it had not been for the exceedingly unfunny sight gags and basic writing style, I'd immediately fault Bruce McCulloch's Stealing Harvard for being an assembly of charmless stupidity and its use of bland, undeveloped characters. Consistent readers know I've subjected myself to stupid comedies and have emerged from some of them with a good review in hand. Such films would be Bio-Dome, Encino Man, and more recently, 2010's remake of Death at a Funeral.

However, there are requirements that I have in my head to be able to call a stupid movie a good one. For starters, a setup that's at least mildly intriguing. Second, one liners that are somewhat memorable. Finally, something that can differentiate it from a stupid movie in the crowd. Stealing Harvard only succeeds in having a somewhat interesting premise and one funny sequence, which involves shouting, repetition, and randomness - thinks I am known to have a disdain for.

Our story begins with John (Jason Lee), a man who is this close to marrying his fiancee and buying a home. His plans get halted when his niece (Tammy Blanchard), who he has become increasingly close to due to her lack of a father figure, reveals that she has been accepted to Harvard, and pulls out a tape of her when she was little, after she failed a spelling bee. On the tape, her uncle John promises her that he will pay for her to go to school when the time comes, and, in present time, she tells them there is only one small chunk left to pay - a $29,000 chunk.

Try to digest that plot point while I bring out another. John's best bud is "Duff" (Tom Green), a clueless, lazy dork who runs a third-rate landscaping business. He reveals to John that while clean and landscaping some rich stiff's home, that he has an open safe with a boatload of money that is simply collecting dust. The two half-wits decide to break in to the home and take the money, but when that idea fails, they concoct more, one of which is robbing a liquor store yuet becoming more preoccupied with who has what fake name rather than the actual operation.

Jason Lee, an actor who we saw was completely capable of creating a character in Chasing Amy and Mallrats functions with sitcom shallowness here, and Tom Green, an actor whose wide range of performances hasn't allowed him to adopt much likability, is a text book idiotic Neanderthal here.

And don't even get me started on the barrage of lackluster plot points and details the film includes, either. There's a little thing in comedies I call "too much information," where a running joke or setup is attempted to be created out of something rather disheartening or simply not funny. Certain "too much information" gags here are the details and the sequences showing John's fiancee (Leslie Mann) crying during sex and her oppressive relationship with her overprotective father. Such things do not belong in a comedy.

Stealing Harvard greatly reminds me of a smarter, infinitely more nuanced comedy called Orange County, that came out the same year as this one in 2002. The film centered around Colin Hanks' character who desperately tries to get accepted to a college, but he finds that his dysfunctional family and chaotic mishaps are burdening roadblocks to this dream. Hanks' character had a screw-up brother, played by Jack Black, who acted much like Tom Green in this film. Hanks' character also reminded me of the niece character here, played by Tammy Blanchard, as someone clearly ambitious but limited. Why was Orange County a three star comedy and this one a one and a half star comedy? Because Orange County chose wisely and took the challenge, focusing on the struggling soul at the core of the story. Not the imbeciles limiting them.

Starring: Jason Lee, Tom Green, Leslie Mann, and Tammy Blanchard. Directed by: Bruce McCulloch.