Post by StevePulaski on Mar 28, 2013 9:00:12 GMT -5
Cecilla and Louie in We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story.
Rating: ★★
I just can't see anyone over five truly enjoying Phil Nibbelink and Simon Wells' We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story simply on its own terms. It's a children's movie that works for nobody but little, little children. Even when they're five, by showing them this movie you could be pushing it. I've stood by my realization and claim that one of the contributing factors to a child's growth, development, and success is their imagination and experience to things other than what they're used to. What you find in this film could easily be substituted by a more ideal episode of PBS's Dragon Tales.
The selling point (which also serves as the most surprising name on the project) is executive producer Steven Spielberg, who of course made the other dinosaur movie released in 1993 that deserves no introduction. It's baffling to the mind to think that Spielberg, whose dinosaur epic is now the quintessential motion picture about the ferocious beasts, would want his name stamped all over a kiddie flick with minimal heart and imagination. A better investment would've been to bet on Disney, whose pictures were sweeping up money at the box office like disposed trash. Hell, if he would've waited a few years, Pixar would've been on its way. And then Dreamworks.
But what's done is done, and now we have a mediocre children's film on our hands, bearing the name of one of cinema's finest men. Our story revolves around an orange Tyrannosaurus Rex named Rex (voiced by John Goodman) and his dinosaur friends, who run into Louie (Joe Shea) when they are transported in time to present day New York City. Louie is a young boy, who is running away from home to join the circus and feels lonely and helpless in the world as both his parents have neglected him. He then meets Cecilia (voiced by Yeardley Smith - who voices Lisa Simpson on The Simpsons - explaining why her voice sounds like a blend of Lisa's and Cindy Brady's), another neglected soul, leaving Louie with a source of companionship and empathy. That's all well and good, until an evil circus owner (Martin Short) reveals his plans to kidnap the kids, leaving the dinosaurs as their only source of rescue.
The plot alone makes this a very strange movie. Certainly not frightening to its target audience, but weird it definitely is, consistently giving us goofy situations, a laughable villain, and a repetitive strain of events before the ends credits roll. There's also a rather bleak color drawing style to the film that had me craving the likes of that polished, fluent Disney style. Certain images (like the character's themselves) seem to be over-colored, the color-palette itself is never consistent, and the cityscapes seem as lifeless as the dinosaurs themselves.
And the final point of criticism is the length of the picture, further cementing the fact that We're Back! is as unsubstantial as it is. It credits itself at seventy-two minutes, when in reality, minus the credits (which are slowed down meticulously to try and pass for feature length) it's roughly sixty-five minutes, even making this an inconceivable TV special. The fact that thousands of parents had to nestle in their theater seats for a drab sixty-five minute affair makes me upset in ways just as inconceivable.
We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story isn't detrimental to the intelligence of your children the way some franchise are, put it's not particularly vital either. It's a decidedly random film, featuring one modestly-catchy but forgettable song, repetitive events, lame characters, an archetypal villain, and blatantly obvious voice-acting. At least hearing Walter Cronkite will give the parents something to be entertained by.
Voiced by: John Goodman, Julia Child, Jay Leno, Martin Short, Walter Cronkite, Joey Shea, and Yeardley Smith. Directed by: Phil Nibbelink and Simon Wells.
