Post by StevePulaski on May 7, 2012 20:34:27 GMT -5
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith reprise their roles as the unorthodox narcotics cops in Bad Boys II.
Rating: ★
You could perhaps make collectible trading cards out of the unnecessary, overly-long sequences that exist in Bad Boys II. Is it possible that a mildly pretentious, ridiculous, dim-witted film could get a sequel that is even more pretentious, ridiculous, and dim-witted? When you have a film with Michael Bay's name firmly stamped on the cover, one thing is for certain; there will be booms and a lot of them.
This is a tiresome sequel, that becomes long and winded after the first half hour because of its oppressive consumption of self-importance from very early on. This is a film that looks cocky and has nothing to hide. There is a scene in the very beginning of the film where Martin Lawrence gets shot in the cheek of his buttocks and we have to listen to a riveting commentary on how the bullet didn't enter the hole but the cheek and how uncomfortable it will be to sit and how stressful it will be for him to go on. Have mercy.
It's scenes like that that make the movie plod along at snail's pace. About halfway through this excursion I came to the consensus that the film was utterly listless, and had absolutely no ambition to be good, entertaining, or anything outside of the cloying genre of a "popcorn flick." I sometimes like a good camp movie, but I despise when films use the excuse "it's an action movie, take it for what it is" or the long over-stayed "just turn your brain off" justification. When you truly think about it, why would a movie want to proclaim itself as a "turn your brain off" type piece? Were the writers lazy or was the whole project lacking any form of motivation and ambition? Or was the easy route taken? I'm not sure, but for whatever reason, the film seems to be inherently inept.
Again, the story is made complicated by a long run time, numerous dead-on-arrival conversations between criminals, tedious shootouts, astoundingly incoherent car chases, and the constant bickering between two men we are led to believe have been close friends for many years. Detectives Marcus Burnett (Lawrence) and Mike Lowrey (Smith) return to track down and abolish the smuggling of ecstasy through many underground routes in Florida. You may ask yourself, why does that task take 147 minutes? Because every five minutes, the film is punctuated with either a redundant scream-fest between the detectives or an unacceptable shootout that always results in the same turnout, making it robbed of credible suspense.
Bad Boys II wouldn't be so intolerable and unwatchable if it had just improved on three things; one, the pretentiousness in the direction and the production. Everything looks too production-heavy, incredibly overbearing, and ridiculously glossy as if it was given a paint job by Hollywood. Two, the film's cynical mean-spirit that is carried throughout the entire picture. Multiple scenes have this built up aggression that goes nowhere except right down the drain of despair. And finally, the removal of needless sequences like the one at an electronic store, the one about being shot in places unknown, and the countless number of relentless car chases. This is one of the worst action movies I've seen in a while that didn't involve metal, soulless robot monstrosities.
Starring: Martin Lawrence and Will Smith. Directed by: Michael Bay.