Post by nopersonality on Jan 13, 2011 5:02:58 GMT -5
A section for my upcoming Television Reviews - I moved all the replies to a separate thread.
Season 4, Episode 8: "Shape Up"
½★
If Full House isn't the whitest, cleanest, straightest, lamest, most offensive, unholy, and bizarre mainstream show in television history... I'm gonna need someone to tell me what is. It's also a show that makes understanding what's wrong with emotional manipulation, patronizing, and simplifying serious issues as easy and simplistic as this shitty show is. And so we arrive at one of the creepiest and sickest episodes of the show that I can think of (and that's only because I'm not an avid fan of it, so I have little to compare it to- did they ever do an episode were Danny forced... I mean, politely forced... his Stepford-like brood to worship Satan? Tell you something, it wouldn't surprise me if I found out such an episode exists), a Sweeps Week contender if there ever was one- "Shape Up." And the implications of Stupid Children; Must Be Corrected by Bossy (Yet Equally Simple-Minded) Parents sure aren't running wild in the title alone. Why bother with the kids even opening their mouths if you know The 3-Man Daddy Brigade are just going to follow them around and breathe down their necks the whole time? Who needs younger characters in a show if all you're going to see them do is make mistakes? Answer me that, if you can. If kids their same ages would ever have looked at them as role models, they're going to get the message that they're just consummate screw-ups. Why doesn't this show come right out and say it; "don't bother with the kids. Adult White Men are your heroes." Because they might act like dorks, but at the end of every episode- please tell me who the show is trying to make look cool? You or Them? Not that I in any way support younger viewers identifying themselves with these freak robot kids- with no opinions about anything other than themselves, which is clearly one of the reasons the Guys are always right at the end... because Parents (and men) always look out for the interests of other people before their own and when they say they're doing something for you, there's never any degree of their decisions where they're looking out for their own benefit... Do you see where I'm going with this? Just because they put a nice face on something like this doesn't mean it can't do any harm.
Let's start with the idea of D.J. growing up. She's the only woman in her entire world with body issues. Not to mention, she's the only young woman with a problem, and the only one who's down-to-Earth... at first. Her best friend is a robotic tomboy, her younger sisters are sugar-rushed brats, and her only adult female role model is gaga over her wedding- the wedding being a classic traditional man's way of turning women into self-obsessed materialists and later, rope them into a miserable existence always having to try to reach compromises with their lunk-headed husbands while he battles with a superiority complex. In other words- the old Ball & Chain. The only choice a woman has in a situation like this is to conform to the Accepted Society of upper-class suburban soccer moms (who also don't have opinions, unless they're decided first by the man, his network of associates, or what's in the best interest of The Hand That Feeds his political and religious station)... or don't work. Who does D.J. have to look up to? Where can she go for advice that is actually going to help her? Especially, on an issue as sensitive as body image self-esteem issues for young women? The show's answer is... her 30-something father (oh, and Uncle Jesse and "Uncle" Joey try to force-feed her solutions too). And what does he use as his frame of reference? How it used to bother him that he used to stick out, was different from other people. Sure... Young men and women are judged the same way... In case the writers haven't noticed, there are no young boys on this show (though again, Kimmy comes close). If this show were at all realistic, they might be able to compare chubby male characters to girls who don't think they're perfect. Both kinds of people have to deal with an amazing amount of pressure. As teenagers, both boys and girls take any criticism of their body very hard. But even then, does this show care about finding a catalyst for what drives teenagers to develop eating disorders? In fact... they blame D.J.'s drive to be thinner on her own naivety. Where did she get the idea? Just a bunch of magazines. Her own imagination, basically. No one on the show even tells her why the magazine-women are the ideal.
People may make the amateur mistake of guessing this show is just corny and that that's all that's wrong with it. Oh, it is but that's just the 80's. Or the 80's version of what they thought the 90's were going to be- just look no further than the episode where local teenagers thought Uncle Jesse's band were grunge-rock (and the image they have of grunge rockstars is clearly some The Heights Luke Perry cute guy in George Michael torn jeans). Saved by the Bell is corny too, but on the 3 or 4 occasions where that show pretended to be serious- they were just trying to help teenagers cope with those issues. The show was still stupid, but teens were the only ones who watched it. Adults couldn't freaking stand it. That's because every stereotype on display there was like Kimmy Gibler is here- impossible for a higher power (creative or critical) to control or defend. Kimmy was always her family's problem (and that would have been another sitcom altogether). The Tanner Cult never tried to turn her around or fix her (which is why, you'll notice; the show's 3 Fathers always copped an attitude with her- Men Don't Like What They Can't Control). She was like the untameable wilderness of the city where the show took place. And, in an existential reading of the show, it's not hard for the viewer to interpret her inanity as what the Tanner Cult perceived the world outside their bubble to be like. In fact... did the show ever allow anyone who wasn't a member of their own family to look cool? Yeah- The Beach Boys. And Little Richard. But, am I mistaken or did they show these music celebrities as being relevant in the childrens' music scene? I know they pretended that Little Richard's claim to fame was "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Why? Was his 50's and 60's blues / jazz and piano-driven rock music considered too... radical? Yes, the show's worst quality is that it's painfully lame and never funny. But there is a freaky undercurrent that I don't believe anyone else has found... The family living in this house functions as an actual, honest-to-badness cult. And proof of this can be found in every single episode where any character living in the house has the slightest problem.
No character on the show has any kind of private life at all. Like in The Truman Show, they all constantly push themselves into the character-with-a-problem's space. Partially because that is the character who the camera is on the most. The writer finds a way to try to milk bad one-liners from the stock cast of supporting characters and then the actors ham it up so people will remember them (how irritating they are). That's bad enough. But the story then devises scenarios where the character-with-a-problem is ganged up on by the rest of the House. It's truly obnoxious what lengths to which the show will go to create a group confrontation (aka, intervention). "We're all here for you..." (Try to imagine the little girls from The Shining going, "Come and play with us...") Yes, share your problem with us and tell us all your deepest, darkest thoughts (like in a confessional booth) so we can do your thinking for you. So, the issue is: D.J. trying to lose weight. Her first time on the scale, little sister Stephanie won't leave her alone. And before she even knows how little weight she's lost, Stephanie plays her recorder... funnily enough, like a chanting call to get Uncle Jesse to come in so D.J. can also get his opinion on what she should do now that she's not getting what she wants. He tells a stupid one-liner and doesn't leave right after. He stands there and waits for someone to have a problem. D.J. squeals and so, his Father-Alarm goes off: must give advice. In the next scene, D.J. is talking to Kimmy in private and... who should be hiding in the background somewhere but the show's little-spy (at least until Michelle grows up to be about her age, so she can tattle on her older sister), Stephanie. Why is she hiding, by the way? Because she's a spy, not a sister. If you've been fooled by the show into thinking the Tanners are a family- this scene proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are a cult. Glued to the second-floor bannister, Stephanie-with-concerned-look-on-face jumps into the kitchen to start questioning everything that D.J. is doing, in loud inquisitor voice. Um... does she have no life of her own? Is it D.J.'s job to babysit Stephanie? Or Stephanie's to babysit her older sister?
The two have a mini-heart to heart talk - the small size of their talk should be the red flag that tells you this isn't over - and after they make a pact, Stephanie isn't through spying on D.J. Invading her privacy isn't enough, she also has to make sure she follows the troll's advice as well. Because this is such a good, close-knit family- they can't even trust each other. Doesn't anyone else find this disturbing? Or, what happens next... Not only is Stephanie not done spying on her older sister, she isn't through confronting her either. She makes some silly comments about D.J.'s lying- along the line of, "when will this end?" and I'm fully expecting the laugh track to erupt at one of these. It doesn't. And now D.J., reacting in full Caught Red-Handed mode (I'm using these Itallics, etc, to help me outline the Cliches by name / category), must now be shamed to the audience. This includes her actually talking while walking away from Stephanie yet Stephanie is following her around like a dog on a leash. Just like a yapping, ankle-clutching dog. And to play up D.J.'s desperation, the show forces her to pinky-swear the little creep in hopes that this will make her shut up. Then we get to the immortal moment where D.J. collapses in the gym. And of course the reason for her collapse boils down to being Stephanie, who is not only there to witness the event (again, because she has no life of her own) but is responsible for D.J.'s sudden stop on the stair-climbing machine. She just runs right up to her and shouts in some demented Pollyanna clone / motivational-speaker tone, "C'mon! You're missing all the fun!" I don't see Danny, Joey, and Jesse having very much fun. Do you? And the second she does collaspse, the entire House except Michelle runs right to her... I'm not kidding. All 4 adults are on top of her like the SWAT team (in fact, Becky does a hilarious swinging-haired Barbie-doll jogging kinda thing in the background). And, you'd better believe they start The 3rd Degree routine. She says, "I'm a little dizzy- that's all," and freak-leader Danny decides this is enough to call off the family's entire gym outing. "We'd better go home..." Like he thinks it's contagious or something. We even find out he made her take a nap in the next scene.
The next scene is the big confrontation... between D.J. and Stephanie. And D.J. and Father #1. And D.J. and every other family member but Michelle, set-up with D.J. in reduced physical stature on one side of the frame and the rest of the Tanner Cult on the other side, standing in militant positions. Father #2 then stands up and points at her with Witch-Hunting Index Finger demanding her to do what he says. I guess it's a good coincidence (in this case) that they just happen to be truly concerned for her actual health / well-being. But this is definitely promoting an environment (whether it's possible that this could become a reality outside of the TV sphere) where male parental figures are given the right to push their kids around on any issue they want to. Visually, this episode is very You Versus Them in every way. And you know what side the writer / filmmakers / TV studio executives are on. What if the family were arguing about a teenage girl's right to have an abortion? Or if their son / daughter was gay and they were trying to force them to deny it, stop seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend, or go to a re-programming camp? Or if their son / daughter were dating someone of a different race or religion? You see what I mean? It doesn't matter how harmless the show is in how they employ this technique- it's still a shocking, silly, freakish thing they're doing. Take for example the scene where the family is all standing around the dinner table looking at Jesse's big sample box of wedding cakes. Everyone is around the table except for D.J. She's not being One of Them, so one of them decides to comment on the fact that she's not with them. In closeup, an almost aggressive, pinch-faced Joey turns to her and in tight expression and clear, suggestive voice (instead of his usually non-threatening, warm, and supportive tone) and goes, "C'mon, Deej- you're gonna miss the cake." Notice how everyone makes sure to use "c'mon" in their Join the Fun-isms. Again, always letting the drifting Cult member know that they want to "Join Us." Yes- join the fun... Watch Michelle leap onto the table as if possessed by Linda Blair Syndrome and practically roll around in the huge display of cake samples like a pig in shit.
Season 4, Episode 8: "Shape Up"
½★
If Full House isn't the whitest, cleanest, straightest, lamest, most offensive, unholy, and bizarre mainstream show in television history... I'm gonna need someone to tell me what is. It's also a show that makes understanding what's wrong with emotional manipulation, patronizing, and simplifying serious issues as easy and simplistic as this shitty show is. And so we arrive at one of the creepiest and sickest episodes of the show that I can think of (and that's only because I'm not an avid fan of it, so I have little to compare it to- did they ever do an episode were Danny forced... I mean, politely forced... his Stepford-like brood to worship Satan? Tell you something, it wouldn't surprise me if I found out such an episode exists), a Sweeps Week contender if there ever was one- "Shape Up." And the implications of Stupid Children; Must Be Corrected by Bossy (Yet Equally Simple-Minded) Parents sure aren't running wild in the title alone. Why bother with the kids even opening their mouths if you know The 3-Man Daddy Brigade are just going to follow them around and breathe down their necks the whole time? Who needs younger characters in a show if all you're going to see them do is make mistakes? Answer me that, if you can. If kids their same ages would ever have looked at them as role models, they're going to get the message that they're just consummate screw-ups. Why doesn't this show come right out and say it; "don't bother with the kids. Adult White Men are your heroes." Because they might act like dorks, but at the end of every episode- please tell me who the show is trying to make look cool? You or Them? Not that I in any way support younger viewers identifying themselves with these freak robot kids- with no opinions about anything other than themselves, which is clearly one of the reasons the Guys are always right at the end... because Parents (and men) always look out for the interests of other people before their own and when they say they're doing something for you, there's never any degree of their decisions where they're looking out for their own benefit... Do you see where I'm going with this? Just because they put a nice face on something like this doesn't mean it can't do any harm.
Let's start with the idea of D.J. growing up. She's the only woman in her entire world with body issues. Not to mention, she's the only young woman with a problem, and the only one who's down-to-Earth... at first. Her best friend is a robotic tomboy, her younger sisters are sugar-rushed brats, and her only adult female role model is gaga over her wedding- the wedding being a classic traditional man's way of turning women into self-obsessed materialists and later, rope them into a miserable existence always having to try to reach compromises with their lunk-headed husbands while he battles with a superiority complex. In other words- the old Ball & Chain. The only choice a woman has in a situation like this is to conform to the Accepted Society of upper-class suburban soccer moms (who also don't have opinions, unless they're decided first by the man, his network of associates, or what's in the best interest of The Hand That Feeds his political and religious station)... or don't work. Who does D.J. have to look up to? Where can she go for advice that is actually going to help her? Especially, on an issue as sensitive as body image self-esteem issues for young women? The show's answer is... her 30-something father (oh, and Uncle Jesse and "Uncle" Joey try to force-feed her solutions too). And what does he use as his frame of reference? How it used to bother him that he used to stick out, was different from other people. Sure... Young men and women are judged the same way... In case the writers haven't noticed, there are no young boys on this show (though again, Kimmy comes close). If this show were at all realistic, they might be able to compare chubby male characters to girls who don't think they're perfect. Both kinds of people have to deal with an amazing amount of pressure. As teenagers, both boys and girls take any criticism of their body very hard. But even then, does this show care about finding a catalyst for what drives teenagers to develop eating disorders? In fact... they blame D.J.'s drive to be thinner on her own naivety. Where did she get the idea? Just a bunch of magazines. Her own imagination, basically. No one on the show even tells her why the magazine-women are the ideal.
People may make the amateur mistake of guessing this show is just corny and that that's all that's wrong with it. Oh, it is but that's just the 80's. Or the 80's version of what they thought the 90's were going to be- just look no further than the episode where local teenagers thought Uncle Jesse's band were grunge-rock (and the image they have of grunge rockstars is clearly some The Heights Luke Perry cute guy in George Michael torn jeans). Saved by the Bell is corny too, but on the 3 or 4 occasions where that show pretended to be serious- they were just trying to help teenagers cope with those issues. The show was still stupid, but teens were the only ones who watched it. Adults couldn't freaking stand it. That's because every stereotype on display there was like Kimmy Gibler is here- impossible for a higher power (creative or critical) to control or defend. Kimmy was always her family's problem (and that would have been another sitcom altogether). The Tanner Cult never tried to turn her around or fix her (which is why, you'll notice; the show's 3 Fathers always copped an attitude with her- Men Don't Like What They Can't Control). She was like the untameable wilderness of the city where the show took place. And, in an existential reading of the show, it's not hard for the viewer to interpret her inanity as what the Tanner Cult perceived the world outside their bubble to be like. In fact... did the show ever allow anyone who wasn't a member of their own family to look cool? Yeah- The Beach Boys. And Little Richard. But, am I mistaken or did they show these music celebrities as being relevant in the childrens' music scene? I know they pretended that Little Richard's claim to fame was "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Why? Was his 50's and 60's blues / jazz and piano-driven rock music considered too... radical? Yes, the show's worst quality is that it's painfully lame and never funny. But there is a freaky undercurrent that I don't believe anyone else has found... The family living in this house functions as an actual, honest-to-badness cult. And proof of this can be found in every single episode where any character living in the house has the slightest problem.
No character on the show has any kind of private life at all. Like in The Truman Show, they all constantly push themselves into the character-with-a-problem's space. Partially because that is the character who the camera is on the most. The writer finds a way to try to milk bad one-liners from the stock cast of supporting characters and then the actors ham it up so people will remember them (how irritating they are). That's bad enough. But the story then devises scenarios where the character-with-a-problem is ganged up on by the rest of the House. It's truly obnoxious what lengths to which the show will go to create a group confrontation (aka, intervention). "We're all here for you..." (Try to imagine the little girls from The Shining going, "Come and play with us...") Yes, share your problem with us and tell us all your deepest, darkest thoughts (like in a confessional booth) so we can do your thinking for you. So, the issue is: D.J. trying to lose weight. Her first time on the scale, little sister Stephanie won't leave her alone. And before she even knows how little weight she's lost, Stephanie plays her recorder... funnily enough, like a chanting call to get Uncle Jesse to come in so D.J. can also get his opinion on what she should do now that she's not getting what she wants. He tells a stupid one-liner and doesn't leave right after. He stands there and waits for someone to have a problem. D.J. squeals and so, his Father-Alarm goes off: must give advice. In the next scene, D.J. is talking to Kimmy in private and... who should be hiding in the background somewhere but the show's little-spy (at least until Michelle grows up to be about her age, so she can tattle on her older sister), Stephanie. Why is she hiding, by the way? Because she's a spy, not a sister. If you've been fooled by the show into thinking the Tanners are a family- this scene proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are a cult. Glued to the second-floor bannister, Stephanie-with-concerned-look-on-face jumps into the kitchen to start questioning everything that D.J. is doing, in loud inquisitor voice. Um... does she have no life of her own? Is it D.J.'s job to babysit Stephanie? Or Stephanie's to babysit her older sister?
The two have a mini-heart to heart talk - the small size of their talk should be the red flag that tells you this isn't over - and after they make a pact, Stephanie isn't through spying on D.J. Invading her privacy isn't enough, she also has to make sure she follows the troll's advice as well. Because this is such a good, close-knit family- they can't even trust each other. Doesn't anyone else find this disturbing? Or, what happens next... Not only is Stephanie not done spying on her older sister, she isn't through confronting her either. She makes some silly comments about D.J.'s lying- along the line of, "when will this end?" and I'm fully expecting the laugh track to erupt at one of these. It doesn't. And now D.J., reacting in full Caught Red-Handed mode (I'm using these Itallics, etc, to help me outline the Cliches by name / category), must now be shamed to the audience. This includes her actually talking while walking away from Stephanie yet Stephanie is following her around like a dog on a leash. Just like a yapping, ankle-clutching dog. And to play up D.J.'s desperation, the show forces her to pinky-swear the little creep in hopes that this will make her shut up. Then we get to the immortal moment where D.J. collapses in the gym. And of course the reason for her collapse boils down to being Stephanie, who is not only there to witness the event (again, because she has no life of her own) but is responsible for D.J.'s sudden stop on the stair-climbing machine. She just runs right up to her and shouts in some demented Pollyanna clone / motivational-speaker tone, "C'mon! You're missing all the fun!" I don't see Danny, Joey, and Jesse having very much fun. Do you? And the second she does collaspse, the entire House except Michelle runs right to her... I'm not kidding. All 4 adults are on top of her like the SWAT team (in fact, Becky does a hilarious swinging-haired Barbie-doll jogging kinda thing in the background). And, you'd better believe they start The 3rd Degree routine. She says, "I'm a little dizzy- that's all," and freak-leader Danny decides this is enough to call off the family's entire gym outing. "We'd better go home..." Like he thinks it's contagious or something. We even find out he made her take a nap in the next scene.
The next scene is the big confrontation... between D.J. and Stephanie. And D.J. and Father #1. And D.J. and every other family member but Michelle, set-up with D.J. in reduced physical stature on one side of the frame and the rest of the Tanner Cult on the other side, standing in militant positions. Father #2 then stands up and points at her with Witch-Hunting Index Finger demanding her to do what he says. I guess it's a good coincidence (in this case) that they just happen to be truly concerned for her actual health / well-being. But this is definitely promoting an environment (whether it's possible that this could become a reality outside of the TV sphere) where male parental figures are given the right to push their kids around on any issue they want to. Visually, this episode is very You Versus Them in every way. And you know what side the writer / filmmakers / TV studio executives are on. What if the family were arguing about a teenage girl's right to have an abortion? Or if their son / daughter was gay and they were trying to force them to deny it, stop seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend, or go to a re-programming camp? Or if their son / daughter were dating someone of a different race or religion? You see what I mean? It doesn't matter how harmless the show is in how they employ this technique- it's still a shocking, silly, freakish thing they're doing. Take for example the scene where the family is all standing around the dinner table looking at Jesse's big sample box of wedding cakes. Everyone is around the table except for D.J. She's not being One of Them, so one of them decides to comment on the fact that she's not with them. In closeup, an almost aggressive, pinch-faced Joey turns to her and in tight expression and clear, suggestive voice (instead of his usually non-threatening, warm, and supportive tone) and goes, "C'mon, Deej- you're gonna miss the cake." Notice how everyone makes sure to use "c'mon" in their Join the Fun-isms. Again, always letting the drifting Cult member know that they want to "Join Us." Yes- join the fun... Watch Michelle leap onto the table as if possessed by Linda Blair Syndrome and practically roll around in the huge display of cake samples like a pig in shit.
