Jib's review of the Transformers movie franchise

[Deleted]

PART I:

Transformers: Beginnings

I remember buying the two disc special edition of Transformers on DVD from Wal-Mart. One of these discs was a cartoon feature that was a prelude to the live-action movies, and I thought it would be interesting to watch. After having it for three and a half years, I finally watched it last night, only to be quite disappointed.

The prelude feature is not so much an animated short, but more of a comic book played out on DVD format. For it is just comic-book still images with voice-overs, with narration switching from Bumblebee, to Optimus Prime, to Megatron, etc. It was not what I had expected, but I would rather it would have it come as a comic book than a DVD. With that said, the images are quite well-drawn, with a combination of both good and bad voice acting for the character voice-overs.

The feature starts out with the Autobots and Decepticons warring on Cybertron, with the All-Spark cube being lost to the dark reaches of space and Megatron pursuing after it. They both then crash lands on Earth, with Megatron being encased in ice for eons. We then cut to the modern era, where after the secret discoveries of the All-Spark and the frozen Megatron, a government agency known as Sector Seven is formed.

That pretty much sums up the 19-minute long prelude, which I would figure is worth watching if you want to or have seen the first live-action film. However, it really isn't much and does not reveal a whole lot of new content that isn't already mentioned in the feature film.


5/10

[StevePulaski]

Good review, but a word of advice. Never use "So yeah" during a review. You're not speaking directly to me. If you were that would be acceptable. But writing that down is like writing down "like" too many times or "ummm." It's writing, you don't have to write down every little thing your mind things of. Not being mean, just saying. My writing isn't perfect, but I know I've improved. Keep it up, Jib. I like reading these.

I went ahead and modified your review. Keep posting these.

[Deleted]

Jun 23, 2011 14:22:15 GMT -5 StevePulaski said:

Good review, but a word of advice. Never use "So yeah" during a review. You're not speaking directly to me. If you were that would be acceptable. But writing that down is like writing down "like" too many times or "ummm." It's writing, you don't have to write down every little thing your mind things of. Not being mean, just saying. My writing isn't perfect, but I know I've improved. Keep it up, Jib. I like reading these.

I went ahead and modified your review. Keep posting these.

At least didn't write down the word "um" in my review.

[patface1979]

Hey Jib you might haven't heard this but Beast Wars Season 1 is coming out on DVD soon! Just wanting to tell you that!

[Deleted]

Jun 23, 2011 16:48:30 GMT -5 patface1979 said:

Hey Jib you might haven't heard this but Beast Wars Season 1 is coming out on DVD soon! Just wanting to tell you that!

I know, they are re-releasing it on DVD. It originally came out on DVD years ago. If anything, they should try releasing it on Blu-ray sometime soon.

[Deleted]

PART II:


Transformers


I remember really enjoying this movie when it first came out in 2007, especially since I had always wanted to see a TF movie on the big screen (regardless of whether it was animated or live-action). Over the years, I thought about the abysmal nostalgic adaptation films the Nostalgia Critic has reviewed, and I absolutely dreaded the thought of Transformers falling into that category. With my most recent viewing of Transformers, I came to the realization that it unfortunately does fall into that category.

Transformers is not the awesome action-packed popcorn flick I had originally thought of it as, but instead just a dull, shallow, poorly crafted, and CGI-saturated piece of cinematic trash. There are a variety of problems that plague this film, such as the story, the acting, and the lack of heart, soul, mind, and overall character. This is unfortunate, since writing duo Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman have done so much better than this, which goes to show that this is not among their finest work. However, the real killing of this movie goes to director Michael Bay and executive producer Stephen Spielberg, which only shows that they don't care about Transformers, the fans, or the movie-going audience and are just in it for the money.

The film centers around an inter-galactic struggle between the two factions of the Transformers, the Autobots and the Decepticons, and how they come to Earth looking for a cube known as the All-Spark. This mysterious cube has the power to grant machines life and the Decepticons want to use this power to build an unstoppable army to take over the universe. That is why the Autobots must retrieve the cube first or else Earth will be doomed.

A plot like that really had a lot of potential, only to devolve into a paper-thin storyline. Bay may have gone all-out for pyrotechnics and CGI visuals, but failed to give us a compelling story or some well-developed likable characters. While this is supposed to be a movie about alien-robots, the human characters have far too much screentime than they deserved. If that were not bad enough, a lot of the actors who play as these human characters give bad to downright awful-performances. We have Shia LaBeouf who plays as the nervous and annoying Sam Witwicky, Megan Fox who plays the lovely Mikaela Banes (her performance was incredibly wooden throughout the whole film), and John Tuturro who plays as the cliche "man in black" government agent (he tries his hardest to give the best performance possible). The rest of the cast do average to pretty bad performances with their shallow characters.

What little story is told in the film is just poorly constructed. We have scenes that are totally a mess (such as Sam encountering Autobot Bumblebee, guard dogs, and cops at a junkyard), scenes that are unnecessary and could have easily been cut out (Sam at the police station), and scenes that are dragged out for too long (such as the Autobots in the backyard and the encounter with the Sector Seven agents). As if that was not bad enough, we then have too many subplots concerning the characters (Sam and Autobots, the Army soldiers and the Decepticons in the desert, two computer hackers learning government secrets, and the Decepticons hunting for the cube), all of which lead to what could have been a totally avoidable battle in a big city.

So overall, Transformers is a film that had potential, only to be ruined by bad storytelling, bad acting, and dullness. Though, the film does have some highlights, particularly: the well-done visuals and pyrotechnics and the scene where the Autobots arrive on Earth. With those points aside, I feel that as both TF fans and movie-goers alike DESERVE better.


4/10

[Deleted]

PART III:


Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen


With the unfortunate travesty that was the first film, one would hope that the writers and filmmakers would improve with a sequel. As we see with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, that is not the case at all. Instead, we see a TF movie that proves to be louder, stupider, more obnoxious, more meaningless, more underplotted, and more shallow than its predecessor. Director Michael Bay and executive producer Stephen Spielberg thought that they should make TF2 bigger and more action-packed, but clearly it just proves that bigger is not better.

This movie is set two years after the first film, with Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LaBeouf) heading off to college, but starts having strange visions and psychotic episodes after touching a fragment of the All-Spark. Decepticons somehow learn about this (it is never explained, one of the many plotholes of this film) and want to use Sam to track down an ancient weapon, but not if the Autobots can help it. Of course, little do the Autobots know that the Decepticons have the aid of a being known as the Fallen.

That is pretty much all the story there is in the film. Aside from that, we see much of the same type of content we saw in the first film, but all of which has sunken to a new low. We see much of the same wooden acting from the returning actors, with Megan Fox being more unconvincing and over-the-top than before. We see the same mindless action and explosions that are now more dull and obnoxious, as well as harder on the ears. Then, of course, we see the same kind of forced crude humor, only this time it is a lot less funny and more unbearable.

We do see a lot of new characters in this, especially among the Transformers. We see such characters as Silverstreak, Arcee, Soundwave, Jetfire, and the notorious Autobot twins: Skidz and Mudflapp. People have complained about them "supposedly" being African-American stereotypes, but I did not find them to be so much as racist as they were annoying. Those two were quite possibly the most annoying characters in movie history, topping even the likes of Jar-Jar Binks. Those two were always trying to act hip and cool throughout the whole film, but really they were just painful to have on screen and seriously deteriotated the quality of the film.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an example of how it is always possible to go lower than low when it comes to filmmaking. It basically took almost everything that was wrong with the first film and multiplied it by two. Seriously, both TF fans and movie-goers alike should be given a movie experience worth enjoying, not cinematic garbage such as this. We DESERVE better!


2/10



Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Ramon Rodriguez, and John Tuturro. Written by: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman. Directed by: Michael Bay.

[StevePulaski]

I'm still embarassed to hear people like these movies, and the third film being shot in my hometown. Just a huge embarassment.

[Deleted]

Jun 26, 2011 21:10:39 GMT -5 StevePulaski said:

I'm still embarassed to hear people like these movies, and the third film being shot in my hometown. Just a huge embarassment.

You should see these movies, JUST to see how bad they are. Of course, I would recommend checking them out from the library for free.

[patface1979]

Jun 26, 2011 19:09:04 GMT -5 @jib said:

PART III:


Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen


With the unfortunate travesty that was the first film, one would hope that the writers and filmmakers would improve with a sequel. As we see with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, that is not the case at all. Instead, we see a TF movie that proves to be louder, stupider, more obnoxious, more meaningless, more underplotted, and more shallow than its predecessor. Director Michael Bay and executive producer Stephen Spielberg thought that they should make TF2 bigger and more action-packed, but clearly it just proves that bigger is not better.

This movie is set two years after the first film, with Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LaBeouf) heading off to college, but starts having strange visions and psychotic episodes after touching a fragment of the All-Spark. Decepticons somehow learn about this (it is never explained, one of the many plotholes of this film) and want to use Sam to track down an ancient weapon, but not if the Autobots can help it. Of course, little do the Autobots know that the Decepticons have the aid of a being known as the Fallen.

That is pretty much all the story there is in the film. Aside from that, we see much of the same type of content we saw in the first film, but all of which has sunken to a new low. We see much of the same wooden acting from the returning actors, with Megan Fox being more unconvincing and over-the-top than before. We see the same mindless action and explosions that are now more dull and obnoxious, as well as harder on the ears. Then, of course, we see the same kind of forced crude humor, only this time it is a lot less funny and more unbearable.

We do see a lot of new characters in this, especially among the Transformers. We see such characters as Silverstreak, Arcee, Soundwave, Jetfire, and the notorious Autobot twins: Skidz and Mudflapp. People have complained about them "supposedly" being African-American stereotypes, but I did not find them to be so much as racist as they were annoying. Those two were quite possibly the most annoying characters in movie history, topping even the likes of Jar-Jar Binks. Those two were always trying to act hip and cool throughout the whole film, but really they were just painful to have on screen and seriously deteriotated the quality of the film.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an example of how it is always possible to go lower than low when it comes to filmmaking. It basically took almost everything that was wrong with the first film and multiplied it by two. Seriously, both TF fans and movie-goers alike should be given a movie experience worth enjoying, not cinematic garbage such as this. We DESERVE better!


2/10



Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Ramon Rodriguez, and John Tuturro. Written by: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman. Directed by: Michael Bay.

The only reason I went too see this movie is to see The Fallen ( which is played by Tony Todd)! Just out of curiosity did you ever seen the 80's Transformers movie did you like that one? I would like to know?

[Deleted]

Jun 29, 2011 12:12:43 GMT -5 patface1979 said:

Jun 26, 2011 19:09:04 GMT -5 @jib said:

PART III:


Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen


With the unfortunate travesty that was the first film, one would hope that the writers and filmmakers would improve with a sequel. As we see with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, that is not the case at all. Instead, we see a TF movie that proves to be louder, stupider, more obnoxious, more meaningless, more underplotted, and more shallow than its predecessor. Director Michael Bay and executive producer Stephen Spielberg thought that they should make TF2 bigger and more action-packed, but clearly it just proves that bigger is not better.

This movie is set two years after the first film, with Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LaBeouf) heading off to college, but starts having strange visions and psychotic episodes after touching a fragment of the All-Spark. Decepticons somehow learn about this (it is never explained, one of the many plotholes of this film) and want to use Sam to track down an ancient weapon, but not if the Autobots can help it. Of course, little do the Autobots know that the Decepticons have the aid of a being known as the Fallen.

That is pretty much all the story there is in the film. Aside from that, we see much of the same type of content we saw in the first film, but all of which has sunken to a new low. We see much of the same wooden acting from the returning actors, with Megan Fox being more unconvincing and over-the-top than before. We see the same mindless action and explosions that are now more dull and obnoxious, as well as harder on the ears. Then, of course, we see the same kind of forced crude humor, only this time it is a lot less funny and more unbearable.

We do see a lot of new characters in this, especially among the Transformers. We see such characters as Silverstreak, Arcee, Soundwave, Jetfire, and the notorious Autobot twins: Skidz and Mudflapp. People have complained about them "supposedly" being African-American stereotypes, but I did not find them to be so much as racist as they were annoying. Those two were quite possibly the most annoying characters in movie history, topping even the likes of Jar-Jar Binks. Those two were always trying to act hip and cool throughout the whole film, but really they were just painful to have on screen and seriously deteriotated the quality of the film.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an example of how it is always possible to go lower than low when it comes to filmmaking. It basically took almost everything that was wrong with the first film and multiplied it by two. Seriously, both TF fans and movie-goers alike should be given a movie experience worth enjoying, not cinematic garbage such as this. We DESERVE better!


2/10



Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Ramon Rodriguez, and John Tuturro. Written by: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman. Directed by: Michael Bay.

The only reason I went too see this movie is to see The Fallen ( which is played by Tony Todd)! Just out of curiosity did you ever seen the 80's Transformers movie did you like that one? I would like to know?

Yes, and I remember enjoying it quite a bit. Though, it's been four years since I last seen it, and I hate to say it, but I probably won't enjoy it as much as I originally did.

[StevePulaski]

I have a "buddy" who absolutely IDOLIZES the third film and it's rather disgusting. He calls the old cartoons "trash of epic proportions." I told him "you worship a director who has ruined more films and franchises than you have fingers, and you call a classic nostalgia cartoon trash of epic proportions?"

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2011 13:40:10 GMT -5 StevePulaski said:

I have a "buddy" who absolutely IDOLIZES the third film and it's rather disgusting. He calls the old cartoons "trash of epic proportions." I told him "you worship a director who has ruined more films and franchises than you have fingers, and you call a classic nostalgia cartoon trash of epic proportions?"

Yep, Idiocracy is right around the corner.

Though, the orignal TF: G1 cartoon isn't all that it is cracked up to be, but it's better than these godawful films. In fact, anyone who has ever watched Beast Wars can tell you what an awesome cartoon it was right off the bat.

[patface1979]

The Thrid isn't half bad it set it up a little bit darker tones in it and I get to see my favorite Transformer Wheel-Jack in it! and the actual Dr. Buzz Aldren in it too!

[Deleted]

PART IV:


Transformers: Dark of the Moon


With two horrible live-action Transformers movies already made, you unsurprisingly find yourself hoping that this third and final film of the TF trilogy would amend the outrageous flaws that horrifically marred its predecessors. Yet, at the same time, you just KNOW that it will be the same mindless, meaningless, and shallow dribble that only Stephen Spielberg and Michael Bay could deliver.

The film follows the Autobots uncovering a government conspiracy about one of their own ships known as the Ark that had crash-landed on the Moon a long time ago. The Ark was what inspired NASA to do the Apollo Moon Missions in 1969 to uncover the wreckage, which has been kept secret ever since. The Decepticons know of the Ark, which plays into their plan to defeat the Autobots and enslave humanity once and for all. It would seem that every scheme that the Decepticons concoct is the “one” that will lead to victory over their enemies.

While I do appreciate that the film tries to be different from its two previous installments, it ends up churning out the same formula and winds up at the bottom of the barrel (which is the TF trilogy). The action is overdone and is just over-the-top, and as result it proves to be dull rather than exciting. I find it unbelievable that people actually thought of it as even remotely entertaining.

The jokes are thankfully downplayed (especially with the absence of the annoying Autobot twins), and while Sam’s (LaBeouf) parents are downplayed, they are still painful to see on screen. As if that wasn’t bad enough, we then see the annoying Wheelie accompanied by another small annoying Autobot (who looks like a robot version of one of those troll dolls). Seriously, each TF film fails to be either a good comedy or action flick, and it just goes to show that few directors can do a worse job at directing than Michael Bay.

Seeing the mess of each predecessor’s “plot”, it seems like the third time would be a charm, but nope, we get yet another unauthentic storyline. While I will not give away the movie, I will say that it continues produce significant plot-holes that one does not need to pay close attention to spot. For example, the Ark crashed on the Moon decades ago when the original war for Cybertron took place eons ago, not enough details are given to explain Megan Fox’s character’s absence, and the Autobots’ plan with the space shuttle has proven to be one great big story flaw.

Aside from bad story telling in these three films, we see very little character development. The most developed character we see in this trilogy is Optimus Prime, who by the end of this film proves to be not the noble and compassionate leader that I have known for years, but a somewhat cruel and merciless authoritarian. I found that to be the greatest insult that Bay and Spielberg could hurl at both TF fans and movie-goers, and sadly people just simply accept it without question.

It is quite fortunate that this should be the least of an otherwise pitiful trilogy, especially since the acting of Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Patrick Dempsey, and John Tuturro, as well as the voice acting talents of Leonard Nimoy, Peter Cullen, and Hugo Weaving, are not enough to save this film. Thankfully, this is the last film and we will not have to worry about anymore degrading to the TF franchise by either Bay or Spielberg, but just Hasbro. While these have proven to be great big box office hits, years from now these films will be remembered not as awesome popcorn flicks but as cinematic atrocities.


0/10


Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhammel, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Whiteley-Huntington, John Tuturro, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Patrick Dempsey, Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving, Leonard Nimoy, and Frank Welker.

Written by Ehren Kruger

Directed by Michael Bay

Exectuive Produced by Stephen Spielberg